Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Girl Scouts and Gilchrist Kids

Tonight Gilchrist Kids, spoke with Becca's core group of girl scouts....we wanted to give them some techniques to help Becca as our journey continued. The parents of the girls were there as well so they can help their girls in dealing with their feelings and in helping Becca.  As well as giving the parents some ideas on how to be supportive for Brian and I. The girls made Becca wheels which they will use to help each other. From seeing them all when they were done they came up with some great ways to help each other.  

In addition, I have gone back to my reading of Alan D. Wolfelt's books. Here are somethings I read which I feel benefited me as well as I hope will benefit you all in helping Becca, Brian and and over time along our journey.

The death of a sibling is often among the most traumatic events in a child's life.  Siblings normal feelings for one another include not only love,  but anger, jealously and other mixed emotions.  When a sibling dies, the surviving kids sometimes feel:

-guilt (because they may have wished the sibling were gone at one time or another).
-relief (because now they don't have to share or via for attention).
-fear (because now they know they could die, too).
-confusion (because they're unsure if they're still a brother or a sister).

All of these feelings are normal. You can help by listening or observing nonjudgmentally as the child expresses them. 

Beware that your grief affects your body, heart, social self and spirit. Bereavement naturally results in social discomfort. Friends and family often withdraw from mourners, leaving them isolated and unsupported.  Mourners often feel out of place in a setting they once felt a part of. All four facets of your self are under attack. You may feel weak and powerless, especially in the early weeks and months. Only over time will you gain the strength to fight back.

Grieving parents don't just feel sad. They often feel numb, angry, guilty, afraid, regretful, confused, even relieved (in cases of chronic or terminal illness, for example). Sometimes these feelings follow each other within a short period of time or they may occur simultaneously. Grief is not experienced as a single note but as a chord. As strange as some of these emotions may seem, they are normal  and healthy. Having these multitude of feelings is something Brian and I have already started to go through as our journey has progressed. 

I know all of these things will continue as time goes on....we will continue to treasure, dream and live.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Marlene Ettlin ❌⭕❌⭕💜💜

Anne Polakoff King Always thought provoking.

Julie Berman Katz Xoxo

Jamie Nathanson Miller So meaningful. Hugs.

Judy Schwartz You are working so hard for your entire family!

Heather Troutner Scurti You are an amazing Mom! Huge hugs!

Michelle Kampler Schwartz sigh....

Debi Gersh Van Camp Big hugs to your amazing family.

Connie McElroy Lippenholz Hugs. Nothing else I can say. Just hugs. Wish we were closer to be able to give real ones.