Saturday, July 15, 2017

Fearful thing...

I was at a funeral yesterday and the rabbi read this poem, it really seemed to resonate with me.

It is a fearful thing
to love
what death can touch.

A fearful thing 
to love,
hop, dream; to be--

to be, 
and oh! to lose.

A thing for fools, this,
a holy thing,
a holy thing 
to love.

your life has lived in me,
your laugh once lifted me, 
your word was gift to me.

To remember this
brings a painful joy.

'Tis a human thing, love,
a holy thing, 
to love
what death has touched.

(Chaim Stern)

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Butterfly Exhibit

The Brookside Gardens are beautiful. The 50 acre property features gardens with combinations of color and texture that merge together all senses. In addition, they host annual two events...the wings of fancy live butterfly & caterpillar exhibit and the garden of lights. Today we had the opportunity to met some friends there for the butterfly exhibit. We have heard many wonderful things about it but seeing it with your own eyes is amazing. Our friend, Kathy, has worked at the gardens for years, so having her and her husband, Sam, there with us to explain everything made the day more special. Becca loved every second and was in her element being able to talk to Kathy all science like. An extra special moment was when one of the butterflies landed on Becca (photo below where the butterfly is closed, it should be noted that when this butterfly opened the wings were blue).

We can't wait to go back for the garden of lights with Kathy and Sam.

Monday, July 3, 2017

Unveiling - July 2, 2017

The unveiling is the formal dedication of the headstone. It is customary for the unveiling to take place 12 months after the funeral as a way to mark the end of the formal mourning period. However, the unveiling may take place any time after Sheloshim (30 days).

Jewish law requires that a grave be marked, but the type of marking and the headstone are not specified. 

When we first started talking about Ian's unveiling we realized a year was right at the beginning of the school year, not the best time for Becca. We then asked Becca if she would like it before camp or after camp, she said before camp so she could enjoy the rest of the summer and have fun at camp without the unveiling hanging over her head. Looking at the calendar July 2, 2017 was the best date. A few days ago I was at grief therapy and realized July 4th weekend held many different meaning for Ian. July 4th weekend 2009, everything started to go down hill, July 4th weekend 2012, we got a name VRK1, July 2, 2017 we had Ian's unveiling, 9 1/2 months after he left us. It was immediate family, helping us to get through the day, saying prayers and honoring Ian with his forever stone.

A thousand years, in the sight of our eternal and merciful Father, are but a day; the years of our life but a passing hour. He grants us life and life He has taken away; praised be His name.

Ian Alexander Scher has been taken from our midst. We are pained by the gap in our lives. Yet love is strong as death; the bonds love creates are eternal. And ours is the blessing of memory, through which the lives of our departed continue to be with us.

Almighty G-d, Master of mercy, whose compassion endures, let neither death nor sorrow have dominion over us. Grant us comfort, strength and consolation, as it is written: "The Lord shall be your enduring light, and the days of your mourning shall come to an end."

Bless us with love and peace, that we may serve You with a perfect heart. Accept our act of devotion, O Lord, as we consecrate this monument to the memory of Ian Alexander Scher with love and respect.

May his soul be bound up in the bond of life. Amen.  

At the rising of the sun and at its going down
We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and the chill of winter
We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring
We remember them.
At the blueness of he skies and in the warmth of summer
We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn
We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart
We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share
We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

O Lord, as I stand at the grave of my beloved child, I tenderly recall the joys that he gave me during his lifetime. I remember how I enjoyed watching him grow and I am grateful for the time we had together. Though this time was brief, many were the blessings he brought into our home. The passage of years will never fill the void in my heart, nor can time soften the pain of bereavement. Though he is no longer in our midst, his memory shall forever be enshrined in my heart.

O merciful G-d, Giver of life, You have recalled what is Your own, and have taken him into Your loving care and keeping. Though my heart still grieves, may I, who have known the joys of parenthood, bring love and cheer into the lives of others. I pray that the soul of my dearly beloved child may be bound up in the bond of eternal life, together with the souls of all the righteous that are in Your keeping. Amen.


O merciful G-d, I fondly recollect the happy years spent with my dear brother, sharing the love and traditions of our home and family. Alas, death claimed you too soon and removed you too early from those who loved you. Though You have called him back, O G-d, I shall always hold sacred the memories of his kindness and sincerity, love an devotion. O Lord, grant that the recollection of his life provide an incentive to righteous living. I place my trust in You who are the source of all life and my strength in time of sorrow. Though a link has been severed from our family chain, help me, O G-d, to be more closely united with those dear ones who remain. May the soul of my beloved brother be bound up in the bond of eternal life together with the souls of all the righteous that are in Your keeping. Amen.