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Monday, June 1, 2015

Comfortably Numb

This past Friday evening the world lost a one of a kind man, my brother-in-law's father passed away suddenly. I have gone through a mix of emotions over the past few days, some I have gone through when others close to me have passed while others I have not. When I got to the funeral, I wondered "how I am able to do this"....I have done it more times then I would like to acknowledge through out my years. When I hear someone has passed away, I feel numb, heartless as my thoughts sometimes go to "such is life", I feel as if I don't feel for the loss, not sure I can. I have been to Sol Levinson's more times then I would like to acknowledge over the past few years....each time I walk in I ask myself "How can I be doing this?". More times then not, I envision me sitting in the front row with Brian and Becca, along with our parents, siblings,  nieces and nephews. Sometimes when I am driving I wonder what life will be like, as Ian continues to process, as dying comes closer. What will that day be like, the following day, the funeral, the Shiva period, the days, weeks, months and years afterwards. All the while, my heart hurts and feels numb but at the same time smiles...pain will be there but how... Smiles and laughs will happen even with the pain. I know....no I am not trying to rush things but I know peace will come for all of us. I hope that for all of those times I have been to Sol Levinson's in the past, peace has come for those who have lost.

1 comment:

Marci Scher said...

Kendra Bober ((((Marci))))

Jennifer Larsen Orlando So sorry. Thinking of you all.

Lauren Agetstein God is clearly not ready for Ian yet.. He is taking all these adults and other people that you have lost. He hasn't taken your child.. He can't leave this world yet. He hasn't had enough foot rubs. Noooope!!!

Michelle Levine Davis Hugs

Carol Zika Beautiful and poignant.

Karen Unger Frazier Love you

Connie McElroy Lippenholz and more hugs

Jill Pelovitz Honest and insightful Marci, thank you.

Arlene Stein my prayers are with you,always.

Gina Cohen It saddens me to go to S.L. also. My dad is 88, my uncle 90 & my aunt 92. Ian is the strongest little guy I know & my super hero. Xoxo

Michelle Kampler Schwartz Wow. Hugs.

Sheri Goldscher I'm sorry for your family's loss. I'm sure you can't help but think... Thank G-d you have your wonderful blog in which you can work through and express some of your feelings... Sending love and always more prayers... xoxox

Leslie Malsbury Old You have strength like no other. I am thinking about you and feel helpless to your needs. Wishing I could help in some way. I love you and know peace will find you someday. Prayers to you and and your family. God bless Ian and your sister's father in law.

Jenny Valentine Basis Thank you for sharing your inner most thoughts with us. Know that you are touching and teaching many.

Cheryl Muller Mendicino Thinking of you Marci....