Tuesday, June 14, 2016

As I lay in bed, my heart hurts. Today was a rough day for many different reasons. First, let me say that Ian's ok and he's been having good days.

We have had some things going on lately which have made me realize not all people are good. Well I've known it but it was just reinforced. In time those people will get theirs. Karma people, karma. 

Today, both the SMA world and PCH world each lost a child. Two in one day, bamb hit me right in the face. One was quick, sudden. The other wasn't, over the past few days the family watched their child actively pass away. On Facebook, I am part of a SMA group as well as a PCH group so I read when kids pass away from these horrible diseases. Today really hit me, harder than it has in a long time. I am trying to find comfort knowing the kids are not in pain anymore. But the families are in a different kind of pain then they were before, one I know one day I will have to endure. I'm not ready for it, I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that pain.  Every day, there is pain, watching your child be in pain, knowing there is not much you can do to make it better. The pain will be different.

As I lay here, awake, when I should be sleeping,  my heart aches. For those families who lost their children today. My heart aches for my family as we know one day we will lose ours. For now I'm going to try to get some sleep and wake up tomorrow to a new day. One which I will treasure, dream, and live.

1 comment:

Marci Scher said...

Pamela Shurkin Meister Sending you love and prayers for as many good days with as little pain as possible. xo

Sally Weintraub Grobani My thoughts and prayers are with you - sending you cyber hugs.

Heather Schmidt Young Much love and *hugs*

Jennifer Larsen Orlando Thinking of you. Sending hugs.

Rachel Solomon Teles So hard. I too am part of a FB group with my daughter's diagnosis and we also lost a little girl a few days ago. It's so personal.
I'd love to get Lily and Ian together soon!
Marci Weinberg Scher Hugs to you. Would like that as well.

Karen Garelick Wolfe Thinking about you. Stay strong.

Jennifer Paradise Baker Your strength and courage are an inspiration to the world! Xxx

Mindy Hammerman Lipsey Thinking of you like I do many days. I've followed MJ's Journey since 2006 when I was first introduced to the SMA world. Xoxo

Christina Ziegler I think about you guys often. I wish I knew what to say. I'm sorry.

Jill Pelovitz You are right; how can anyone be ready for this loss? Sudden or not the grief is the same real pain. I just pray that families will have what they need to manage through the sorrow. Your message is clear and it is strong; we should all cherish the moments we have. Thank you for that. Your beautiful family is in my prayers.

Sherie Bober Rubin So sorry. We all know how strong you are and even the strong crumble sometimes. You village will gladly pick you up! :(

Stacy Berman Lunenfeld Ugh. My heart hurts too reading this.

Arlene Brown Stein I am so very sorry.

Susan Schneider Havelock Thinking of you and your family....

Nuchie Zirkind Thinking about you Marci Weinberg Scher and family. This is so sad to read.

Marcy Schwab Your heart hurts because you love. Without love, where would the world be? Sending you much love. You're strong and beautiful. ❤

Ellen White I am so sorry Marci. I am thinking of you.

Daean Menke Prayers for peace and comfort for Ian and the rest of you. Sending ((((((((love and hugs)))))))

Karen Schmidt McClelland Thanks as always for your authenticity and vulnerability. Xoxo

Sharon Evnitz Gross So so sad. You are on target with the incredible loss of a child.