Tuesday, September 20, 2016

160 months, 24 days

I sit here on the sofa in a fog. Did it really happen? 5 days ago he passed away and the fog began. I'm numb. We had thought about this time period for so long, prepared. But can you really prepare, maybe mentally, think you can emotionally but not really. My little man is gone. People have been in and out of the house since Thursday morning, part of me has found it helpful, the other part of me has been overwhelmed. Just taking it one step at a time. 

Ian was with us for 160 months and 24 days. Most of the time it was a joy even with everything we had to endure taking care of him. More times than not we were caregivers to Ian more than parents. He knew how to get to us in the best way possible, knew when we needed hugs and to be told he loved us. Yet at the same time he was every much a boy, all boy, coming into his own teenage years. If he knew you well he would throw you under the bus, even when you thought he had your back. He enjoyed all the typical boy stuff, laughed when people burped and farted...isn't that what all boys like. His smile was radiant. The light in his eyes shined bright up until the last few days. His spirit was large. His soul was old, always needing to make sure everyone else was OK and taken care of. The bonds he had with many were incredible, one everyone will hold onto. A piece of my heart is missing and will always be missing. I am a better person for being Ian's mommy. We will eventually learn to live the life he wants us to live.

G-D saw he was getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So He put His arms
around him
And whispered,
"Come with Me."

With tearful eyes we watched him suffer
And saw him fade away,
Although we loved him dearly
We could not make him stay.

A golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands to rest,
G-D broke our heart to
prove to us
He only takes the best.


Gale Herr-Sarubin said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. Your writings are beautiful.

Marci Scher said...

Jay Weiner Love you ❤

Elena Lucini French 💕

Sallie Brovitz-Palmer <3 you!

Lisa Reid Miller Beautifully written! Marci Weinberg Scher, I wish I was able to be there. Know that we have and will always have you, Becca, and Brian in our hearts and prayers. ❤

Laurie Fox Schimmel I admire you and your family. Your words are powerful and I feel like I have been on this journey with you. Your family continues to be in my thoughts.

Michelle Bar-av Love you cousin

Julie Brandt- Crumbacker Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Gila Biegacz you & brian are the best warrior parents! hugs all around.

Traci Kodeck Ian will continue to live on through you, Brian and Becca and your powerful support of other families.

Heather Lev We are all better people for knowing Ian. But also for knowing all of you. Love you all!! Xoxo

Lauren Agetstein I always love to read your blogs. I hope you will continue to write them for a really long time.

Tracey Lamberg Robbins You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray for your strength. I'm so sorry.

Lesley Winer Bogash Thank you for sharing this with all of us today, so beautiful. I hope you continue writing, you really have a knack for it and it can be very cathartic.

Rachel Goodman HaShem needed this angel! The best! My hearts with you! My hearts broken too! Ian touched my heart in the short summer I had the blessing to know him!

Michelle Kampler Schwartz Oh, Marci...Perfectly said. A boy adored, loved...and he'll always be in our hearts. <3
(That came out as 'farts' first. Haha Ian!)

Mindy Hammerman Lipsey Thank you for sharing this with us. Xoxo

Melissa Winter Banks Marci,Brian,and Becca, you are my super heroes. I hope your strength and memories of Ian's courage and his amazingly infectious smile help you eventually adjust to your new normal. Ian touched many lives, and I know he will continue to do so through all of you.

Leslie Walters You and your family are in my prayers. Ian was lucky with the family he got and you were blessed to have him in you life.

Amy Ziman Yankellow Beautifully written Marci Weinberg Scher. Thank you for sharing this with us. You and your family will remain in our thoughts and our prayers.

Jennifer Larsen Orlando ❤

Connie Rosenthal Berman ❤

Irene Summers Gordon Gellar I hope you will continue to share your beautiful words with all of your friends. They are inspirational and passionate, just like all of you.

Tara Bogajevski Paxton Just beautiful. Sending you love and our prayers. 😘

Sandra Huller ❤ 😢 💔 🙏 👼 ❤

Marci Scher said...

Donna Lithgow Stollings ((Hugs)) I really don't think there is a way to prepare yourself for loss. Your mind can understand what is happening, but it can't keep your heart from breaking. Take each day, each hour, each minute one at a time. You have so many people in your corner, but it's ok to just surround yourself with your husband and daughter sometimes too. Just listen to your own heart to know what you need. Sending so much love your way.

Marci Hyman Oberfeld wow-

Tamara Jayne Flax Beautifully written.

Melissa Hicks Willen Because I knew you
I have been changed...
For good.

Jamie Nathanson Miller ❤

Monique Erdos-Gertner Thinking of you all constantly.

Steve Lunenfeld Beautiful, thank you for sharing Marci. Ian and your family will always be in our thoughts.

Renee Valentino Block As a mother I cry for your dear boy who I feel I knew even though we never met. Cherish your memories and embrace your daughter and husband. Sending you hugs and friendship.

Adena Baer ❤ ❤ ❤

Sheri Greenberg Gelvar You and your family continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

Julie Berman Katz Wow!! Did you write that poem? You are truly incredible Marci! I hope we see each other at happy family occasions soon! Love to my cuz!
Marci Weinberg Scher I did not write it. Someone sent it to me.
Julie Berman Katz Marci Weinberg Scher it's perfect!

Britta Hubbard Hoffman Beautiful! xoxo

Stephanie Rabinowitz You couldn't have loved this boy any more, he was lucky to have a family so wonderful ❤

Julie Onnembo Love and hugs! <3

Kris Barrett Thinking about you...

Linda Chupnick Your blogs are so beautifully written. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Heather Schmidt Young Still thinking of you all.

Rene Hurley Carfi He was so very lucky to have you as his mother. The love you all have for one another is so very obvious.

Sharon Sindler Harris My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you for always sharing your blogs. You are amazing ❤ 😓

Lauren Agetstein Of course not now when the time is right. Have you ever heard of comfort zone camp? It would be more for Becca's sake. Its designed for kids who have lost a parent, a sibling, a grandparent etc. It would be a good thing to look into for her to help her deal with things.

Marlene Ettlin You are a remarkable and wonderful family. Ian was lucky to have you and your circle of friends. 💞 💞

Jaclyn Ross ❤

Marci Scher said...

Sharon Evnitz Gross So well written. How lucky were you and your family to have Ian and he you

Stacy Berman Lunenfeld You are all always in my heart!

Jill Eisenberg Thank you for always sharing your story with us. Xo

Debi Gersh Van Camp Haven't stopped thinking of you all. Xo

Beth 'Tama' Weintzweig A beautiful window into your pain. Eventually the sun will break through your fog. In the meantime we are feeling your pain but cannot truly understand it. 😓 😓

Karen Taylor Henelde You, Brian, Becca, and your entire family continue to be in our thoughts constantly. Thank you for your amazing blog posts and sharing with everyone this amazing journey you have been on, and will continue to be on. Sending love to the entire Scher and Weinberg family.

Lara Turkel Fruman Your words have always been so important to share during this journey. The admiration I have for your family is immeasurable. Ian's memory will always be a blessing.

Beth A Bullock I sure wish I could give you a hug in person. My heart aches for you and your family. You are such a wonderful mother. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your blog. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

Katie Cullen McGoey

Sharon Cohen That is beautiful!

Deana Munchow Beautiful strength. Beautiful soul.
Beautiful family.

Jill Rosenthal xoxo.

Sheri Pazornik Goldscher Haven't stopped thinking of you. Don't know how you, Brian, and Becca made it through your beautiful thoughts and prayers continue to be with you, as we know that your beautiful Ian is at peace.... xoxoxo

Christina Ziegler Thinking about you so much.

Lanaye Hoover Thinking about you all!!

Mary Shimkaveg 💗

Sara Alima Ostrow So beautifully written. Sending you all so much love and strength.

Jill Pelovitz This is honest, beautiful, and insightful. Thank you for letting us in and sharing your feelings and memories of Ian. Your words are powerful and brave. Keep blogging Marci!

Heather Troutner Scurti Prayers continue to be sent your way!

Claudia Gonzalez Love you Marci xo

Cheryl Muller Mendicino 💜

Michaelle Crumbacker Leone Continuing to keep you, Brian and Becca in our prayers.

Carye George Everett You all continue to be in our prayers. Your poem brought tears to my eyes. You are a wonderfully strong and amazing woman!

Daean Menke (((( 💔))))

Marci Scher said...

Mark Brodinsky Wow! Amazing way of sharing Marci.
It's obvious you had something golden - and are a better person for being Ian's Mommy.
That poem is one of the best ever.

Wendy Elover <3

Kelli Maples Bethel Sending love and prayers

C. L. Valinoti Quillen I'm so very sorry, Marci. Thinking of you and your family.

Lisa McCarville D'Antonio Beautiful post, beautiful poem ❤