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Wednesday, November 23, 2016

10 weeks, Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is 10 weeks since Ian has found peace. The past few weeks have been a struggle for me, since the Las Vegas Rock n Roll Marathon. Physically the 10k was good, pretty easy actually. Emotionally, I was a mess...what started out to be in honor of Ian turned into in memory of Ian. I know he was with us while we were walking, helping to make it easier. At Chai Lifeline's pasta party, they had a video of some Chai Lifeline kid and where they are now....a little bit of what they went through and what Chai Lifeline did for them, what makes them family and so great at what they do. With some ups and downs, we made it through the weekend with the help of our friends, Scot and Connie.

Next came turning in the paperwork for Ian's footstone. Seeing it in writing, was hard, difficult and heartbreaking. 

Now comes tomorrow, 10 weeks and Thanksgiving day, knowing it was coming....stunk. I have tried to think of things I'm grateful for as I know there are plenty....but missing my little man and the hard time I've been having is over shadowing that. I know Ian would want us to be spending time with family enjoying each other so that is what we are doing. Many times I feel empty inside. I have been getting out and trying to enjoy myself, sometimes I do a better job then other times.  I'm even having a hard time sitting here writing this because my emotions are all over the place, some empty and some full. At times, it has gotten harder instead of easier. I'm assuming this is "normal".

I am grateful for my family, friends and our village. I'm grateful for the wonderful 13 years Ian gave us. I try to remember these things every day. Not just on Thanksgiving. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sherie Bober Rubin Much love to you all

Sandra Huller Love you my dear friend! ❤😘🙏

Jay Weiner Love you

Leslie Kapper Sands Hugs!!!

Heather Lev Love u xoxo

Merle Lemler Brenner Marci I was thinking about you and your family earlier this week and know the holiday season won't be easy for you. I'm sending you a hug and know that you are loved and held by those around you.

Jennifer Paradise Baker hugs to you Marci and to Brian and Becca!

Jill Pelovitz Marci I am embracing you in prayer and in my heart this Thanksgiving. As always I admire your honesty. You are true to your feelings and to that place in your heart where you carry your beautiful Ian. Tomorrow remember him and all of the happy times that he made you smile. He is with you always.

Carye George Everett Thinking of you and sending hugs.

Mary Fab Marci, Brian and Becca, wishing each of you a nice Thanksgiving. Being thankful isn't always easy. But, Ian was thankful for your love, compassion, understanding and patience. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes a very long time. You're surrounded by love.

Kathy McCormick Gray Sending my love and prayers to you all

Renee Valentino Block Thinking about you and your family. We will be saying a few special words for you and family tomorrow before our dinner. Sending love and comfort for your family.

Melissa Hicks Willen Love you

Stacy Berman Lunenfeld Thinking of you all and wishing you a happy Thanksgiving!🦃

Denise Winegard Kremnitzer Love you guys 💕

Mark Kremnitzer What she said ❤

Harry Blacker Happy Thanksgiving. Love to all!!

Mindy Nacht Torres Much love to you Marci and family!

Denise Zemlak Beveridge Hugs!!!

Gina Cohen Thinking of all of you often. XOX

Stacy Birnbaum Schwartz Hugs. 💜💙

Debbie Gold Ciufo Thinking of you and your family

Michelle Kampler Schwartz Hugs. Love. More.

Cyn Weinstein Cherry Thinking of you all

Kathy Stevens Yes all of what you are feeling is normal. Know you are not alone. It's an awful club to belong to but we're in this together.

Lisa Allentoff Hess Thinking of you!

Michelle Bar-av Love you

Jamie Leboe Thinking of you always

Linda Chupnick Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.