A Thank You - From Brian

As we prepare to close out 2016, thankfully, I wanted to take a quick opportunity to say a few words.  As you all know, Marci, Becca and I, even Ian, has not had the best of times.  We all have had our own separate struggles as well as combined struggles.  However, this year, last 3 months as of this coming Thursday, have been the absolute hardest days, weeks and months of our entire lives.  On September 15th, our brave and courageous superhero Ian gave up his long hard battle with his disease.  Ian attacked each and every day with such conviction and caring that it as hard to tell most days that he was debilitated by such a horrible disease.  

I just wanted to thank everyone, family, friends, our entire village as we call it, for all your love and support over the years but especially the last 3 months.  Most days are hard and even though we may seem to be smiling and laughing on the outside, our insides are just all torn up and devastated.  It is still so hard to fathom and accept in a way that our Ian, our little man, is not at home in his bed.  Not there with his bright eyes, his shining smile and of course that tongue to greet us with as we come home from work each and every day.  We know he is and always will be with us in our hearts, our minds and our very souls but without the physical our days are tough and rough to get through.

Therefore, again, my most heartfelt thanks and gratitude to everyone out there for all that you have given us this year in 2016 will never be forgotten.  We could never repay anyone in any way for all that has been given to us.  A simple thank you truly is not and will never be enough but please just know we wish there were other ways to show our thanks.  

I know I can speak for Marci that we are looking forward to 2016 being over as well as probably 2017 as we approach all the special celebrations in our lives during this first year of loss.  It will never be easy as time goes on but hopefully with continued love and support the pain will dull.  

Happy holidays and happy New Year to everyone.  Be safe and enjoy whatever it is you do and whoever it is that you will be with.  Hugs and kisses all around.

Comments

  1. Dawn Reznik
    What a beautiful message - just so sorry that we had to" help" wherever we could and whenever we were available, would much rather have had Ian around us, happy and healthy - but Hashem had other plans.!!!!! Words are never enough when trying to fathom what your little family went through, but be assured that all that you did for Ian put that smile on his face and made his beautiful eyes shine so brightly, as he is still smiling down on you. He too was blessed to have you guys as parents and Becca as his sister - you are a very special little family.
    God Bless.

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  2. Anne Polakoff King May all of you experience 10 fold the love you have felt this past year in the coming year. And thank you for always sharing your most personal thoughts and feelings with your village. It was very special to all of us.

    Jennifer Paradise Baker very special - thanks for sharing these thoughts

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  3. Dear Marci and Brian,

    Thank you, Brian, for your beautiful heartfelt letter. Marci, you already know how moved I have been by your many posts over these past few years.

    The last couple of weeks before my mom died, and just before she knew she was ready for hospice, I remember how strong her need was to say thank you to the docs, nurses and aides at the Sinai cancer center. She tried writing a note, but she was so weak that her handwriting was mostly illegible. I asked her if she wanted to dictate it and I would write it for her. She agreed, but insisted that I do so on the same note paper so that they could see her handwriting and know that she had tried and that the note was all from her. I learned a lot from her about the need to show gratitude. It is something built into our humanity. And there is something so very beautiful, and sometimes even uplifting about gratitude when it comes from so deep inside our souls. I don't know if you feel that, but I it was a pretty powerful emotion, almost like an emotional hug, for me after my mom died.

    love and lots of lots of hugs,
    Debby Hellman

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