Changes and Grief for Becca

People have grief and change in different ways, no one person handles it the same way. We have noticed that over the past, especially the past year as the 3 of us have grieved Ian. Try being a teenager, having all the normal hormones and stuff that comes with just being a "normal" teenager and add change and grief of your twin brother. Becca has been dong fairly well with it all. She is slowly figuring out how to live in the "normal" world. Being out and about and not worrying about what is going on at home, when will that phone call come (this is hard for all of us and we are each figuring this one out). Her grief comes and goes and is triggered by different things just like adults. She is still seeing the child life specialist thru Gilchrist Kids for grief therapy as well as regular therapy. 

Over the years, Brian and I had noticed issues with her academics. We went through different avenues with the school system to try to have her tested for learning issues, however, as her grades were not suffering, they refused to test her. At the end of the school year last year, we decided to have her tested privately. She was diagnosed with ADD (we knew this one) and dysgraphia. Dysgraphia is a learning disability that affects writing abilities. It can manifest itself as difficulties with spelling, poor handwriting and trouble putting thoughts on paper. Since dysgraphia is a processing disorder, difficulties can change throughout a lifetime, as well as difficulties can overlap. Getting this diagnosis has answered a lot of questions for us...we now know what we have been seeing and how to help her, especially since she started high school this year. The high school has been working with us and her getting the proper accommodations in place. Becca has started with a private tutor from a school that specializes in learning disabilities. It is amazing to see the difference the tutor has made with the proper accommodations and tools in place for her to use. Comparing her writing on paper to writing on the computer...amazing. We will continue to work with school, the tutor and anyone else we need to for Becca to continue to thrive. She is 1/2 way through her 1st quarter of 9th grade and her grades are wonderful, 2 B's and the rest A's. She was nominated as student of the month for September by her gym teacher. Below is a photo of Becca with the principal getting her certificate. 

Becca continues with Girl Scouts, horseback riding and Batya. Staying busy and juggling everything as best as she can. Overall, she's doing well, thriving while dealing with the change and grief of losing Ian.  As I sit here and think about it....Becca, he's smiling down on you, sticking out his tongue, beyond proud. 

P