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Showing posts with the label anger

Parenting Your Children After Child-Loss

www.CourageousParentsNetwork.org Adapted from resources provided by  The Children's Room Center for Grieving Children and Teenagers, INC. Arlington, MA
When a child in the family dies, even if the death is not entirely unexpected, the entire family experiences a new sort of grief and loss. For many, this feeling settles over the entire family home like a cloud that shuts out the sun and makes things extremely challenging. As a parent whose child has died, you may find that you are so shaken by your grief that you do not know if and how you can manage the normal responsibilities of parenting your other children. You also don't know how you can help them with their own sadness and grief.
There is good news. First, research has shown that each of us has the capacity to heal. Secondly, getting support to help you and your family process your grief can be extremely helpful in the grief process. Here are some things we hope you will find helpful.
Finding Support Children are often reluc…

You Are Not Alone -- For Parents When They Learn Their Child Has A Disability

by Patricia McGill Smith A legacy resource from NICHCY -- January 2014
DURING THIS PERIOD OF TIME...SO MANY DIFFERENT FEELINGS CAN FLOOD THE MIND AND THE HEART...
If you have recently learned that your child is developmentally delayed or has a disability, which either is or is not completely defined, this message is for you. It is written from the personal perspective of a parent who has shared this experience and all that goes with it.
When parents learn about any difficulty or problem in their child's development, this information comes as a tremendous blow. The day my child was diagnosis as having a disability, I was devastated -- and so confused that I recall little else about those first day's other than the heartbreak. Another parents described this event as a "black sack" being pulled down over her head, blocking her ability to hear, see and think in normal ways. Another parent describes the trauma as "having a knife stuck" in her heart, perhaps thes…

Happy 15th and 2nd Heaven Birthday - Silver Lining

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Last week I went to a lecture on finding the silver lining in things. It wasn't about the saying "it happened for the best" or "everything happens for a reason". It was about finding the good in things, regardless of how horrible the situation is, there is a good in it. It's about finding it and what you do with that good. It may take years for you to realize what the silver lining is for the particular situation. One quote the speaker said was, "Too many people miss the silver lining because they are expecting gold." Not everything is going to be peaches and cream, but you can find the joy in things.
As I sit here, on April 21st at 11:50am, I think back to approximately 15 years ago as I welcomed my jewels into this world...April 22nd at 12:29pm and 12:30pm, Becca Jordan and Ian Alexander made me a mom. What was in store for us none of us knew. But there was and is a silver lining in our journey, actually I would have to say there are many, prob…

As We Approach 548 (18 months) Days

Dear Ian,
There are still no words, I don't think there ever will be. So much has changed and happened in the 548 days since you left us, yet much has not. There are times it seems like it was yesterday that Adesola knocked on our bedroom door at 5:45 a.m. and said something wasn't right; while other times it seems like a lifetime ago. So far the second year has been harder because everything is becoming more real. Remember the night before you passed, when Daddy and I were talking with you; telling you it was ok to go to Heaven and we would eventually be ok....well we're still working on it. Some days are better than others, some days are good, some bad, some horrible, and some are ok. We do tend to have more ok days now; a little bit of joy; but the other kinds of days do still happen and can happen out of the blue. There is still not a day, minute, or second that I don't think about you. That the pain and hole in my heart is noticeable to me...some days it's dee…