A Crystal Ball

So many mixed feelings and thoughts are going through my head. What's the right thing to do--I know there is not really a right or a wrong way to go--just which one is the better for Ian and our family. Our goal - quality of life -the standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group - are the things needed for a good quality of life. We all know quality of life can get modified depending on the individual or group as well as the situation. 

There are pros and cons which ever way we go. To do the surgery - to not do the surgery? We already know Ian is in pain and uncomfortable - we know some days are better then others. Sometimes it is as easy as repositioning him - making sure pillows are in just that right spot - but we maybe doing this every 5 minutes. Sometimes it requires giving him extra doses of medicine - which can make him a little loopy and tired while other times it will just take the edge off, requiring anothe dose. We know eventually he maybe drugged up but don't feel now is that time. Sometimes we handle all of this well while other times we get very frustrated with the situation and with Ian (even though we know its not his fault).

The surgery, oh the surgery - the goal is for his back pain to be minimal if not gone. However, the issue is getting to that point - the actual surgery, the recovery, the wound, etc. - all painful. Yesterday was a world wind of information - trying to take it all in was hard. The surgery will be between 6-8 hours. Ian will lose a large amount of blood and need a transfusion. He will have an incision from neck to butt - a nice wound we need to make sure does not get infected. The hospital stay will be 7-10 days with major pain - one doctor told us that pain will be the major challenge because we will be trying to manage acute pain and chronic pain - UGH. We know Ian will be on some tube feeding in the hospital - as we know when we don't feel good we don't want to eat. Actually, we have started him on 1-2 bottles of pediasure for the week as nutrition is an important part of the healing process -,wound healing as well. There are quite a few other things which we will need to do towards the end of the week and over the weekend. I'll spare you all those details. The end result a pain free back for Ian.

Not to do the surgery - contained pain in Ian's back. Increased pain medicine to try to control it as best as possible. Repositioning him numerous times as he has a hard time getting comfortable in bed - many pillows, towels, what ever we can figure out to get there. 

What's the answer. A crystal ball would be such a nice thing to have to know the outcome of both choices. IF ONLY!