Ups, Downs, and In Between
Just like everyone, we have our great, good, ok, bad and horrible days. The past few weeks for me have been more difficult again, kind of like the beginning all over again. I'm not 100% sure what the trigger or triggers are but I'm sure many things play into it. Many things have been going on recently, the Twinless Twins conference, which I'm realizing had a huge impact on me as well as Becca; Camp Simcha Special Boys, just ended, seeing the photos on Facebook, all the excitement in the boys eyes, reminded me of just how special of a place it is and how much Ia loved it and couldn't wait to go back every summer; Becca's at one of her happy places, Camp Louise, for her 5th summer Our house is quiet, and we are childless until the middle of August. Yes, I know our house is much quieter than it was 2 years ago - no more machines or leaving the door unlocked so people could coming in and out to be a part of our village. My how our village has changed over the past almost 2 years. I knew it would, but sitting here on the sofa, it's more of a reality and becoming our new normal. August 23rd is Ian's 2nd Yahrzeit [(among Jews) the anniversary of someone's death, according to the Jewish calendar], as well as September 15th, the day Ian passed on the secular calendar. Over the years, I may have appeared strong, I'm not sure how strong and together I really was or am. But I do know that I am still grieving and I'm not sure how much longer I will be grieving and I have come to accept that is ok, regardless of what others think and what others feel...because this is about me taking care of me. So that is what I am going to start trying to do. I know it won't be easy but with the support of those around me, I am going to start putting one foot in front of the other.
I subscribe to a website called Power of Positivity: Everyday is a day to shine, Shine on!, and every day I get an email with different topics and advice. Some days, I don't even open it. Well today, I did. And, today, there was this topic: Awesome Happiness Hacks: 10 Simple Ways to Find Happiness Within Yourself. Is someone trying to tell me something...maybe, maybe not, but I decided to read it and see what it had to say.
Happiness, to some people, is a foreign terminology. When one is asked what they would wish for their family, many people say happiness. Money is said, but only because we tend to think that it will bring you joy; it helps, but it is not the catalyst for your glee.
If you have stared out your window and realized that your life is slipping away, and you are not happy, now is the time to change that. You can find pure joy and contentment in yourself, and it does not have to come from other people. Work on yourself, and you will discover the delight you so desperately desire.
HERE ARE 10 HAPPINESS HACKS TO HELP YOU FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN YOURSELF.
Make someone happy. Bringing joy to other people can make you happy. You can give a compliment, smile at them, or send them a gift, anything to bring joy to the other person. When you are compassionate to others, you receive a natural "high" that makes you happy. Do it today, and you will appreciate it. Christine Carter who is from the University of California, Berkeley states that the number of friends we have, and their quality positively affects our well-being.
Challenge yourself. When you try new things, such as yoga, chess, learn a new game, or visit a new place, all of these will stimulate your mind and your will be happier. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a psychologist, states that creative, learning new skills, or artistic activities when performed relate to having a better approach to life.
Exercise. We don't always follow through with our exercise routines, we either change our minds or decide we become tired of hitting the gym. It is known that exercise is a sure mood-booster. A study done in Harvard states that well-being of people who are physically active is higher than those who do not engage in physical exercises. Most people believe that exercising is too difficult to increase your happiness but try going to hit the gym. You can walk, ride a bike or hike, choose your form of exercise.
Gratitude. Look around you and appreciate the people who are in your life. Send a text or tell your parents, friends, or colleagues that you are thankful that they are in your life. You can list down the good things that have happened in your life, think of the good experiences you have had with your family, friends or children. This will naturally boost your mood.
Let life flow. Do not challenge yourself too much that you lose what is important to you. Chasing money or fame will not make you happy on its own. Linda Esposito of LCSW, states, "The concept of 'everyone' does not exist when it comes to experiencing joy." You need to find what makes you happy and not how you should attain it. Do not listen or let people dictate to you how you should achieve happiness that is all on you.
In the genes. According to psychologist David Lykken, our "set points" of how happy we can be is on our genes, but whether we can overcome that point is all dependent on our experience and training. If you "set point" is low, you can encourage yourself to achieve more and be happy by practicing positive thinking.
Be truthful. According to the author of The Liar in Your Life, and a psychologist at the University of Massachusetts Robert Feldman, 60% of people, cannot go through a 10-minute conversation without lying. That is a considerable number. To not lie is not an easy thing, but when you are honest, your conscience is clear, and you know that there are no consequences that you are waiting for.
Listen to your heart. When you are satisfied with all you have, and you know it is enough, you will always be happy. Most often than not we try and compare ourselves with others and feel low when they have what we desire. A study conducted in the 1980s by the University of Northern British Columbia discovered that people who are in search for career success, money, fame or friends are less happy than those who are not in the same quest. Be content with what you have regardless of what your family and friends say or have.
Enjoy the simple pleasures. The sun, grass under your feet, starry nights, thunderstorms, the ones you love, or treasured memories, enjoy them. The simple pleasures and things in life are a sure way of making yourself happy. They are gifts that have been given to us for free, and you sure need to enjoy them more.
Be with those who make you smile. We are happiest when we are around those who make us happy, as studies have shown. Be around people who bring you joy, and when you are together, your time is spent in laughter and tears of joy. Try and steer clear of those people who consistly bring you down. Toxic and narcissistic people should be a no-no in your life. Do not be dragged into an unnecessary drama that will only make you sad or angry.
Conclusion. Cultivate a spirit of looking for happiness within yourself. This way, you will not rely on other people. The more you look within yourself, the more likely you are to achieve it. Always be thankful for the small joys in life and blessing that are there in your life. For a fulfilled and peaceful existence, try and practice these happiness hacks. Understand what works for you and this will be the first step to the journey of finding your joy.
I subscribe to a website called Power of Positivity: Everyday is a day to shine, Shine on!, and every day I get an email with different topics and advice. Some days, I don't even open it. Well today, I did. And, today, there was this topic: Awesome Happiness Hacks: 10 Simple Ways to Find Happiness Within Yourself. Is someone trying to tell me something...maybe, maybe not, but I decided to read it and see what it had to say.
Happiness, to some people, is a foreign terminology. When one is asked what they would wish for their family, many people say happiness. Money is said, but only because we tend to think that it will bring you joy; it helps, but it is not the catalyst for your glee.
If you have stared out your window and realized that your life is slipping away, and you are not happy, now is the time to change that. You can find pure joy and contentment in yourself, and it does not have to come from other people. Work on yourself, and you will discover the delight you so desperately desire.
HERE ARE 10 HAPPINESS HACKS TO HELP YOU FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN YOURSELF.
Make someone happy. Bringing joy to other people can make you happy. You can give a compliment, smile at them, or send them a gift, anything to bring joy to the other person. When you are compassionate to others, you receive a natural "high" that makes you happy. Do it today, and you will appreciate it. Christine Carter who is from the University of California, Berkeley states that the number of friends we have, and their quality positively affects our well-being.
Challenge yourself. When you try new things, such as yoga, chess, learn a new game, or visit a new place, all of these will stimulate your mind and your will be happier. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a psychologist, states that creative, learning new skills, or artistic activities when performed relate to having a better approach to life.
Exercise. We don't always follow through with our exercise routines, we either change our minds or decide we become tired of hitting the gym. It is known that exercise is a sure mood-booster. A study done in Harvard states that well-being of people who are physically active is higher than those who do not engage in physical exercises. Most people believe that exercising is too difficult to increase your happiness but try going to hit the gym. You can walk, ride a bike or hike, choose your form of exercise.
Gratitude. Look around you and appreciate the people who are in your life. Send a text or tell your parents, friends, or colleagues that you are thankful that they are in your life. You can list down the good things that have happened in your life, think of the good experiences you have had with your family, friends or children. This will naturally boost your mood.
Let life flow. Do not challenge yourself too much that you lose what is important to you. Chasing money or fame will not make you happy on its own. Linda Esposito of LCSW, states, "The concept of 'everyone' does not exist when it comes to experiencing joy." You need to find what makes you happy and not how you should attain it. Do not listen or let people dictate to you how you should achieve happiness that is all on you.
In the genes. According to psychologist David Lykken, our "set points" of how happy we can be is on our genes, but whether we can overcome that point is all dependent on our experience and training. If you "set point" is low, you can encourage yourself to achieve more and be happy by practicing positive thinking.
Be truthful. According to the author of The Liar in Your Life, and a psychologist at the University of Massachusetts Robert Feldman, 60% of people, cannot go through a 10-minute conversation without lying. That is a considerable number. To not lie is not an easy thing, but when you are honest, your conscience is clear, and you know that there are no consequences that you are waiting for.
Listen to your heart. When you are satisfied with all you have, and you know it is enough, you will always be happy. Most often than not we try and compare ourselves with others and feel low when they have what we desire. A study conducted in the 1980s by the University of Northern British Columbia discovered that people who are in search for career success, money, fame or friends are less happy than those who are not in the same quest. Be content with what you have regardless of what your family and friends say or have.
Enjoy the simple pleasures. The sun, grass under your feet, starry nights, thunderstorms, the ones you love, or treasured memories, enjoy them. The simple pleasures and things in life are a sure way of making yourself happy. They are gifts that have been given to us for free, and you sure need to enjoy them more.
Be with those who make you smile. We are happiest when we are around those who make us happy, as studies have shown. Be around people who bring you joy, and when you are together, your time is spent in laughter and tears of joy. Try and steer clear of those people who consistly bring you down. Toxic and narcissistic people should be a no-no in your life. Do not be dragged into an unnecessary drama that will only make you sad or angry.
Conclusion. Cultivate a spirit of looking for happiness within yourself. This way, you will not rely on other people. The more you look within yourself, the more likely you are to achieve it. Always be thankful for the small joys in life and blessing that are there in your life. For a fulfilled and peaceful existence, try and practice these happiness hacks. Understand what works for you and this will be the first step to the journey of finding your joy.
With one foot in front of the other, regardless of how big the steps are I'm going to work on finding my internal happiness.
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