Realization - A Call Out to the Villiage
As I am sure this will not surprise anyone; all of us are in therapy. Today we had an interesting session with Becca... She has been having a hard time sleeping lately so we have been working on trying to figure out why. We realized that some of her sleep issues are normal while other issues is not and some of them we still don't know. Today, one of my fears came true, she truly gets the outcome of Ian's disease. She mentioned not wanting to think about it, thinking about what? Being any only child. I replied she will NEVER be an only child, Ian will always be her brother. She was asked if she talks to her friends, her response, I don't always want to talk to them about it, I could get upset and cry and I don't want to do that. Besides they know as we are all close enough that they know and understand what I am going thru. While this sounds great, I wonder how true it really is. As adults we have a hard enough time understand what we go thru and why, so do 10 year olds really understand.
So this I am throwing out to all of her friends parents, to the parents at Chatsworth, to those who have played sports with her, to those how have gone to Hebrew school with her, gone to camp with her, I am sure you get it. Do you think your kids understand what she is going thru to the best of their ability or what she will be going thru when Ian is free to run, walk, scream, play or to just be all boy. Are you willing to talk to them on how to support her even when she may not think she needs it or when she does think she needs it, after all we as adults may not know how to do it. My Becca is going to need her friends...in addition, they may need her (will Ian being free affect your child). She goes thru things 99.9% of kids won't ever go thru and for that I love her more then words.
She, just like Ian, is my hero. Please help me to continue to help her, reach out to her friends and his friends, talk to them, reach out to me if you want/need to; thank you all for being a part of our village.
***Ian is doing well, there is nothing with him which brought all this about.
Sherri Sibel Thomas This is so wonderfully written. Whatever you need...we're here for all of you.
ReplyDeleteAnnelise Sullivan I have talked about this with both my kids. I've asked Carrie to imagine what it would be like to lose her brother. I've asked he to be supportive of Becca and all she goes through. Both my kids understand ( as best they can) what Ian's diagnosis means. And please tell Becca, if she ever wants to talk, or is down at school, Carrie is a good listener.
Audrey D Kline Good post, Marci. I bet you will find Becca has a village of love and support.
Barbara Paige Sending you so much love (( <3 )) you are amazing, I really mean that! No 2 children could ever have been more loved and accepted as yours are. Your village is wide and deep!
Denise Winegard Kremnitzer If Becca ever wants to talk, I'm a phone call away. Mark and I plan to visit Maryland over Presidents Day weekend and would love to see you guys if you are free :)
Michelle Levine Davis Hugs to you all
Tamara Jayne Flax Realization is hard sometimes. Hugs to Becca.
Melissa Klawans Cohen Love!!
Benjamin Levey Marci: I believe that it is easier for the children to be there for one another than it is for the adults. Children are amazing and more in touch with their feelings and the feelings of others than most adults. Thinking about you all.
Sandra Huller <3 to all of you!
Rebecca Goldstein What a well written update. You all are always in our thoughts. Becca is a true hero herself for being so supportive of Ian. We are all part of your village....the love between Becca and Ian can be felt by all of us. Anytime Becca wants (or Ian) wants company let us know.....our Sunday afternoons are back open.
Michael Kiewe Just read wow my heart goes out to you and your whole family you are all truly amazing
Jennifer Paradise Baker lots of love to you, Marci - your strength amazes me and humbles me!
Jennifer Larsen Orlando Sending hugs to you all. Your whole family is amazing and inspirational. Love and miss you! ❤
Michelle Kampler Schwartz Marci - While we expect adults to know how to support and be there for each other, the kids often do as good a job with each other, if not better. As long as you keep communicating to Becca's friends' parents what you would like from them, I believe they will pass it along to their children. We had incredible support both with our peers and the kids' generation. Keep the conversation going. And remember that Gilchrist is there for your family now...and later. <3 You can do this. [I'm also willing to talk to Becca if you'd/she'd like.}
Marci Phillips Becca is an amazing kid. I am so privileged to know both her and Ian through Milldale and through scouts. Sophie has asked me before about what Becca is dealing with and what she could do to be a better friend to support her. Saturday afternoons are a good time for us to hang out if Ian or Becca are interested. Maybe we could bring Jasper over one day?