Courage

According to Wikipedia, courage is the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. Physical courage is bravery in the face of physical pain, hardship, death or threat of death, while moral courage is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, discouragement, or personal loss. I've been thinking a lot about courage since Alicia, the director of Camp Louise, posted her blog a few weeks ago. Each week they focus on a different midrash and one week it was courage. In order to understand more of where this post is going you need to know that the musical this year at camp was the Wizard of Oz. 

Alicia stated, as we can learn from the Cowardly Lion, courage is not about the absence of fear. It is dealing with difficulty in the face of fear. The Cowardly Lion demonstrates bravery throughout the show even before the Wizzard grants him courage. The Lion is actually much braver than he realizes.

Alicia went onto talk about how the campers show bravery and courage every day at camp. Maybe they are nervous about making friends, jumping into the pool and taking the swimming test, climbing to a new level on Adventure Park, getting on stage to perform, or trying a new food in the Dining Hall. They are encouraged by their counselors and bunkmates who help them tackle these new challenges. This has gotten me to think about how my family has shown courage over the years...Ian, Becca, Brian and myself have all had courage and faced fears over the years. We have been there for each other to help each other tackle our challenges. In the years before Ian passed we never knew what lied in front of us each day. What it took for each one of us to leave the house to go to school, to go to work, or just to go out to an activity and leave Ian in the house with his nurses or Brian or myself.  It wasn't a question of him being in good hands and being taken care of, it was the fear of would something happen, would this be the time we would get a phone call.  Facing that fear head on and walking out the door, closing it behind us...what would be in front of us when we walked back in the door. What courage Ian had to let all of the people who took care of him, all of his needs...to let them do it all. What courage it took for him to watch us walk out the door to go to whatever activity we were headed to...always laying there waiting for us to walk back in the door. 

Alicia went onto talk about when the Cowardly Lion is concerned for his friend Dorothy, he puts his fears aside and shows his bravery....well mostly. For us we put our fears aside for each of us and did what we had to do, went to school, went to work, or went on our outing.  Since Ian passed, our courage has come in different forms and we have been there for each other. Each day, we have gotten up, gotten ready for our day regardless of what is on tap for that day, school, work, an outing.  We have faced challenges over the past 11 months, challenges that we had a little bit of an idea what lied ahead...but do you ever really knows what lies ahead when you lose someone so close...your child and your twin brother. No, you don't. But we have some how found the courage, faced our fears and gotten thru the days, even if it was just getting out of bed. We have been there for each other on the bad and good days. Encouraged each other to do what we needed to do, reminded each other that he would want us to find a way to get it done, whatever it is. 

"Alright, I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch.

Guards or no guards, I'll tear 'em apart.

There's just one thing I want you guys to do: talk me out of it."

Alicia continued on what are you most excited to try? Framing it in this way puts a positive spin on some of our fears. And if you are a bit (or a lot) overwhelmed, you may need to fake it for a bit until you truly feel courageous. 

"Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first?

I'll fight you both together if you want.

I'll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight you standing on one foot.

I'll fight you with my eyes closed....ohh, pull in an axe on me, eh?

Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I'll....Ruff!"

Think about your own lives. Life is hard sometimes. Not dealing with issues that come up can be easy, but facing fears head on makes us stronger. Is there something you have been wanting to try that you keep putting off? How can you start accomplishing it with a little bit of courage and encouragement. 

You don't need to wait for the Wizzard....

"You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking.

You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage;

you're confusing courage with wisdom."

Be brave, start on your path and:

"Follow the yellow brick road!"

Putting a positive spin on facing our fears...faking it for a bit until you truly feel courageous, I know we have been doing a lot of that...faking it.  Putting on a smile outside but not having it on the inside. Courage comes in all shapes and sizes, some days you have more than others, some little and some lots. Becca facing each day with out her twin brother, her other half...and how she will have to face each and every day from here on out...she is the most courageous person I know. I think about Ian and how courageous he was, especially at the end. I can only imagine the fear he had, what would be ahead of him when he passed. How courageous he must have been, knowing he would be without us until the time came for us to be together again...he is the most courageous person I know. Then there's Brian, the most courageous man I know, facing each day knowing he could not change the outcome of Ian's diagnosis. Looking into his son's eyes on the night before he passed telling him it was ok to go, ok to go to heaven and we would be ok. Faking the ok part....are we ok....nope we are not. I'm not sure we will ever really be ok, at least not like we were before. All 3 of us are different people then we were 11 months ago, we will never be the people we were on September 14, 2016, they left at 7am September 15, 2016. But we are more courageous then we were before, stronger than we were before....and I believe there is not a fear we can't eventually face. Even if we don't realize it at the time, we will over come our fears, face courage head on and figure it out, whatever it is.