A Hard April....For Always

So this month so far has been filled with many different emotions as I watched two of my closest friends lose a parent. Both sudden and unexpected. Both have had health issues over the last few years, but at the time of death, for the most part, were stable. Monday and Tuesday night, I helped to run the kitchen for one of their Shiva houses. I was spent, in every way. Especially emotionally. Wednesday rolled around and that is when I got the message of my other friend's parents passing. At this point, death had become a thorn in my side that I wanted to go away. My friends were beginning a journey that I understand in relationship to grief but not in relationship to the grief of a parent, thank G-d. Friday was difficult to be at the funeral, knowing what lies ahead. But watching a friend bury a parent helped Brian and I to realize, once again, just how precious life is and how it can change in a second...reaching out to those we needed to.

Saturday morning, Becca, Brian and I headed to the Mid-Atlantic Twinless Twins Regional meeting. Yes, you read that correct...Twinless Twins, (TTSGI) is an organization made up of twins who have lost their twin. Members at different stages in their bereavement listen to each other and reach out in the spirit of "healing by helping other."  

They focus on healing and sharing their twinship with the belief that "once a twin, always a twin." Hope can be renewed for the future. We had no idea what to expect. It ended up being a small meeting, 7 twinless twins and 3 support people. Becca was nervous. She did great, regardless of there being about a 20ish year age gap between her and the next to youngest twinless twin. We got to hear about their stories and their journey. We got to hear about how a few of the others felt regarding watching their parents grieve at the same time. Some of the comments which others said during the meeting which resonated with me:

• Grief is the price we pay for love.
• If we love, then we will know grief.
• Once a twin always a twin.
• They have been with each other since they took their first breath.
• Every twins loss is different but unless you met another twin who lost. They are the ones who really understand.
• We are not in this alone, there are other people who have been there and empathize.
• Finding hope that other twins have been there and are smiling and laughing and moving thru it.
• It's a journey. Can finally think about how they lived and not how they died.
• Your heart is broken, regardless of being a parent or a twin. And some shut down and don't talk about it. And some of that is just part of grief. And some times sharing grief with your parents can be helpful.

It was inspiring to hear all of the other stories and see some of these twins 20, 30 years out and still living. Knowing there is hope for Becca to get there...I've always had hope but seeing it in others, refreshing. At the end of the meeting, Becca said she found a little bit of what she was missing. I can understand that, as up until recently, none of her friends had experienced any kind of loss. Finding and meeting others who have lost a sibling, specifically a twin... The national conference is in July and we are looking to attend. We have been told that there are a wide age range of twins there, other teenagers. Now that will bring more hope.

For Always...

I close my eyes
And there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams across
the night

You take my hand
Though you may be so many stars away
I know that our spirits and souls are one
We've circled the moon and we've touched
the sun
So here we'll stay

For Always
Forever
Beyond here and on to eternity
For Always
Forever
For us there's no time and no space
No barrier love won't erase
Whenever you go I still know in my heart 
you will be with me

From this day on
I'm certain that I'll never be alone
I know what my heart must have always 
known
That love has a power that's all it's own

And For Always
Forever
Now we can fly
And For Always and Always
We will go on
Beyond
Goodbye  

For Always
Forever
Beyond here and on to eternity
For Always and Ever
You'll be a part of me

And For Always
Forever 
A thousand tomorrows may cross the sky
And For Always and Always
We will go on
Beyond
Goodbye