Why Should It Matter How

On Thursday morning, an accident in our area, took the lives of 2 of the 4 teenagers in the car. According to reports, 3 of the 4 kids were from Franklin High School, our local high school and where Becca goes. The teens who passed were 18 and 15. The 18 year old just graduated high school and the 15 year old is in Becca's grade. At 1:30ish in the afternoon, I got a text message from a friend asking if I had heard about the fatal accident. I hadn't heard yet, but one look on Facebook and there was no missing it. It was all over Facebook and the names of the kids were just hitting the public. Over the next few hours, more and more comments were showing up on Facebook and Instagram. In addition, an email from the principal was hitting the inboxes of the parents of the high school. The community was shocked and heartbroken. 

I began to hear and read some very supportive and compassionate messages to the families. Not all of the comments on social media were supportive or compassionate, although I'm sure the people making them thought they were appropriate. Comments such as, why was a 15 year old out with 18 year olds at 1:00 in the morning; why did they get in the car with a driver who had been drinking ; why didn't the parents talk to their children about wearing their seat belts in the back seat; and it went on. By no means are Brian and I perfect, yes, we have judged others for things they have done, as parents and not as parents. But no one knows what conversations others have with others. As teenagers, we all did stupid things, we all sat on the sofa and listened to our parents, but then went and did what we wanted. As parents, we all have the conversations with our kids about safety and making good choices to remain safe. And after, we have the conversations with our kids, all we can do is pray that they are listening and will make good choices. You can put in all the policies you want, tell your kids that if they are out and the driver is drinking or they are drinking, call us at any time, no questions asked. When push comes to shove, will the kids really do that? As one of the mother's posted, "We all know what it's like to struggle with our teens to get them to do the right thing. We teach them to get up and dust themselves off when they do and make things right."

The more and more, Brian and I saw these comments on social media, the more and more angry and in disbelief we became. Why should it matter how these children passed away?  Bottom line is, children passed away in the accident and their families are shattered and changed forever in a way that no one should understand. As we approach the 2nd anniversary of Ian's passing, please remember that these families need all the support they can get, not only now but in the future as they continue to learn to live with out their children. They are going thru the most horrific and unthinkable things. No parent regardless of the reason should have to bury their child. If you have nothing supportive to say, please don't say anything. There are no words. 

ONE CHILD. OUR LIFE. ONE CHILD MISSING. AN ENTIRE WORLD IS CHANGED. ONE CHILD. LEAVES AN IMPRINT ON OUR HEARTS FOREVER. ONE CHILD GONE LEAVES A BROKENNESS THAT CANNOT EVER BE EXPLAINED. ONE CHILD. MY CHILD. YOUR CHILD. WE LOVE WITH A LOVE SO FIERCE THAT WE SOMETIMES CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW A LOVE CAN BE THAT INTENSE. ONE CHILD MEANS THE WORLD TO US AND WHEN THAT ONE CHILD IS GONE OUR ENTIRE WORLD SEEMS SO VERY EMPTY FOREVER.