Facebook Memories - Good, Bad or Both

Facebook memories, are they good, are they bad, are they both or does it depend on the situation? The memories below poped up on December 27th and 28th, 2018. I knew exactly what they meant. All sorts of thoughts and emotions came up, the good, the bad, the both. 

July 4th weekend 2009 was the beginning of our journey, we had no idea what was in store for us but then again, who does. So these post from December 2009, was still just the beginning. "Relapse" what did that really mean, we had not a clue, but then again neither did the doctors. Seeing these posts, bring back so many different emotions and memories. Happy times, sad times, frustrating times. We were in for a ride, a ride full of ups and downs, one doctor to another doctor (there was a point and time when Ian easily had 7-10 doctors, including therapists), in and out of the hospital, one test to another with negative results followed by more negative results. 

How and what do you say to your then 6 1/2 year old when he tells you he's frustrated with "himself". This was probably the 1st time Ian said something of the sort to us, I definitetly know it was not the only time. It never got easier to hear him frustrated with himself and his body as the disease progressed and he lost the ability to do things. Sometimes, we sat and cried together, sometimes we talked about Heaven and how all of his working body parts were there waiting for him, sometimess he wanted all of us (Brian, Becca and myself) to be together for the conversations, sometimes we let him yell and scream, or just say what he need too. Basically, we followed Ian's lead...and then afterwards would go into another room and break down.

For the most part, I'm grateful for the Facebook memories. When I posted way back when, I didn't realize how meaningful the posts would be one day. Memories show up on Facebook, I screen shot them and save them with my photos - now I will always have them. Not that I will ever forget our journey, but you do from time to time forget the little parts of it as the bigger parts sometimes over shadow them.

Both Becca and Ian are our imperfectly perfect children. Brian and I resolved early on that we would not allow Ian — our beautiful, imperfectly perfect son — to be “just” a statistic. We wanted his life to have meaning and make a positive difference in this world. Both kids needed and deserved for us to, well do what we did and still do. Get up each and every day, put one foot in front of the other and continue. Some days it took and takes everything to just put that first foot on the floor, while other days you don't even realize you are doing it. We are here, continuing to be here. I will continue to check out the Facebook memoires daily, because they are good, they are bad, they are both.