How many times have you seen a post similar to this on social media over the last three weeks:

Social Distancing. Social Responsibility. 

Social responsibility means staying at home and away from groups.

It means we as a society have a responsibility to protect those who are vulnerable to the virus. 

The federal government is urging older people and those with serious underlying health conditions --like lung or heart conditions or a weakened immune system -- to "stay home and away from other people" because data shows that these groups are most vulnerable to developing a severe form of COVID-19. 

The virus can be transmitted between people who are in close contact with each other -- about a 6-foot radius.

However, it is not only the government's burden to bear. It is time for us, as citizens of this earth, to take action and do our part in fighting.

It means that we protect our friends and family by not going to see them so that we don't unknowingly infect them.

That means don't send your kids out to lunch with each other.

That means don't host play dates at your house.

That means use technology instead.

"But I'm not sick!"

And we want to keep it that way!

#stayhome

I've re-written this post, in my head as well as in the blog, more times than I can count. So here I am, yet again trying to find the words to finish it. Nights have become hard again, shutting my eyes, my mind starts to wander, thinking  - not a good thing. Taking me back, to where to when; before Ian passed away to when Ian was alive. My emotions have been all over the place. My mind usually goes non-stop; thinking about home, work, kids, summer, to all the things I want/need to do; going non-stop. The ups and downs come and go, sometimes situational, sometimes just a part of me being me.

Social distancing, anxiety-driven, isolation, fear of getting an illness and passing it along to someone you love and would do anything for. Feeling ok, not being sick, yet still being a carrier and unknowingly infecting someone who is immunocompromised. Someone who has an underlying condition. Differently. The ramifications aren't the same now as they were before, when, before Ian passed away when Ian was alive; but the ramifications could be just the same for others. It doesn't mean we don't feel it. It doesn't mean we don't understand. It doesn't mean we don't wonder It doesn't mean we just don't. We've been there and done it and would do it again...wait we are.

Look at the hand you are dealt and be creative. Make your own reality. Make the best of a bad situation.

Isolation. Washing hands. Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you sneeze or cough or use the inside of your elbow. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth. Avoid close contact with others who are sick. Stay home if you are sick. I could go on. Not new to us. All we did before, when, before Ian passed away when Ian was alive; all in order to protect Ian and keep him healthy and alive. Same yet different.  

 
Lately, I have been staying off of social media. Only logging onto Facebook to get updates on COVID-19, new executive orders, updates from the Maryland State Department of Education, the Board of Education of Baltimore County and Franklin High School. COVID-19 sucks. It's scary. It's frustrating. It's not fair. The unknown. It's not what was supposed to happen. Everyone has worked so hard and looked forward to so much; canceled events, school closures and disruption of life as we know it. These losses will change all of us. No one is exempt. The intangibles losses. Missed milestones - proms, graduations, weddings, hanging out with friends, jobs, and so much more. I am not trying to downplay the situation or emotions and feelings. It is unfair. The feelings of loss, dread, anger, sadness, shock, weep, pit in your stomach, or loneliness. And where these feelings are, there is grief. Uncertainty. The feelings should be embraced. The loss of dreams and futures imagined - the loss of things hoped for and for feelings anticipated. It's the loss of those wispy, hard to get your hands around yet real beliefs about the metrics of the world. The grief attached to these things are real. 

Perspective. 

Denial - This virus won't affect us.

Anger - You're making me stay home and taking away my activities.

Bargaining - Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right? 

Sadness - I don't know when this will end. 

Acceptance - This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed. 

My heart hurts. It hurts for all those intangible losses. It hurts for the impact and everyone who is non-exempt. 

#stayhome

Alive. Remember. Breath. Remember. Tomorrow. Remember. 

All the things you get to do while social distancing. All the things you are doing while being socially responsible. All the things - alive, remember, breath, remember, tomorrow, remember - you get to see and experience while #staythefuckhome. Yes, the experiences will be altered because of COVID-19 and for that reason be sad, frustrated, angry, but remember - Alive. Breath. Tomorrow. Stay at home to protect those who are vulnerable to the virus. Social distancing. Social responsibility. Perhaps my perspective is not different from yours but perhaps, just perhaps, my perspective is the same as yours. Perspective comes from experience, so yes my perspective comes from our journey. 

VRK1. 

PCH1A. 

Rare disease. 

Ian Alexander Scher, of blessed memory.

#stayhome

Protect your friends and family. Protect their friends and family. Protect those with serious underlying health conditions. When talking and sharing about those canceled events, school closures and disruption of life - remember - you get to be alive, breathe and see the next day. Perhaps, just perhaps my perspective is tainted because of our precious little boy, perhaps not,  maybe it would be the same regardless. 

Last week one of Becca's friends lost her great-grandmother. With Becca's permission, I am paraphrasing what she shared with her friend. "...Ian was like your great-grandmother for me. He made me feel comfortable in any situation..." "...he was my everything." Don't you want to protect your everything, the person who makes you feel comfortable in any situation?

How about we all learn to be more flexible, to be more patient and become stronger. How about we all realize that sometimes sacrificing things that are important to us are what needs to be done. How about we realize that all the hardships we encounter help us to become stronger individuals.

So continue to:

#stayhome